1. Good health.
2. A wholesome respect for all Americans, of whatever race, creed, or sex.
3. Common sense that will guide the country in times of natural disaster, war, and economic stress.
The details on how Bilzerian fulfills these basic tenets of candidacy are common knowledge and contained within the scope of the 2+2 Bilzerian containment thread. To recap:
"Just had my 3rd heart attack, feeling better now, about to leave the hospital. Waiting on lab results now"
"Went from a great week in Hawaii,go to bellagio, win 170k in 45 min.to being robled into going back to hawaii,lose 800k&have a lung embolism"
"Guy just died in hospital bed next to me, WTF"
2. A wholesome respect for all Americans, of whatever race, creed, or sex (note: the woman in this story, first posted on 2+2, is not American).
“So here I am in amsterdam, I had just blazed a chong the size of my dick and im thinking I need to get a blow job asap. I go on walk about in the red light district, and for those of you who havn't been to amsterdam the hookers are in windows all up and down the streets and allys. Lets put it this way, the great warrior poet 50 cent was not speaking about this kind of window shopping when he made the song "window shopper", talking **** about window shopping... B/c its the best.
So i pick the finest hooker in 2 blocks and she lets me in and closes the curtain. We discuss price and the fact that a condom will not be part of this blow job, price is set at 50 euro(80 us at the time). Bj commences and I go to pull her tits out and she then requests 20 more euro for her tits to be played with(out****ingrageous!) I tell her that her tits arn't worth 2 euros(even though I would of paid 200 euro for the package deal, its the principle). So then she gets upset and starts arguing with me, I tell her to suck my suck my **** and stop speaking. I further explain to her the only appropriate use for her mouth and she picks up her cell phone to call her "boyfriend" who she says is bigger than me and will kick my ass. I say to her I can't wait to meet and beat the schlep rock who is dating a low-rent welching hooker. At this point I am not longer interested in her services and see three viable options... 1. Beat her ass 2. Smash her stereo(only nice thing in her room) 3. Walk out like a bitch and forget about it.
So I pick the second worst option and I smash her stereo into a hundred pieces and walk out. She spits on me and starts talking ****... suddenly I regret not choosing the best option(1 obv), but I keep it together and walk on. She spits on me again, I tell her to savor the flavor of my dick and not to waste it. She then kicks me in the back, and continues yelling at me. I am STILL willing to let it go, but then she spits on my fur coat, and comes to kick me again!!! I turn around as she is coming at me and hit her with a round house kick to the ribs that literally sends her 3 feet into the air and she lands like the sack of **** that she is on the ground.
I smile at a job well done and as i turn to look forward I get caught right in the face with a right cross from her boyfriend. I stumble back, glases broken at my feet(before I had lasic) I am a little stunned, but I shake it off and come at this big ugly bastard. I hit him with a hard overhand right and just as he falls back a little, a big ugly buddy of his comes from behind me grabs both my arms. Now another guy comes at me from the left, I hit him with a weak push kick and before he can come at me again I break free from the dude who had me locked up and I take off running. I roll back to the hostel where my boys are staying to rally the troops.
I get to the hostel to find them all ****ed up and lazy. I bust out the blow, we motivate ourselves and clear our heads... I've got a head full of blow and blood on my tongue, my buddies are ready to lay down some hate and discontent, but when we get back the hooker and all her lackeys are nowhere to be found. We eat mushrooms instead.”
3. Common sense that will guide the country in times of war, natural disaster, and economic stress.
In the last year alone:
• Threw a naked starlet off a roof into a swimming pool below. Broken wrist, narrowly averted death.
• Kicked a woman in the face at a Miami Beach nightclub and was sued.
• Was arrested for possessing an explosive or incendiary device with the intent to manufacture (i.e. make a bomb).
2013 WSOP Main Event runner-up Jay Farber notes that Bilzerian recently arranged a party attended by the likes of Ludacris and Vin Diesel that raised $250,000 for Brain Research. In addition, Mr. Farber provides a solid rationale for Bilzerian’s most notorious stunt: “Of course I have [thrown a woman off a roof]. Dan didn’t pioneer that move. People have been throwing women off roofs since the 50s and 60s.”